Thursday, July 21, 2016

In Case You Haven't Heard...



Maze of the Blue Medusa is stunning.

-Vanessa Veselka


One of the biggest releases, I think, in the history of D&D publishing

-Ben Milton, Questing Beast


This book is a deep, luxurious bed for Dungeon Masters to roll in

-Jay Murphy


Nothing like Maze of the Blue Medusa has come along before….Each element of Maze of the Blue Medusa is near perfect. And I dare hazard to say that the entire thing is greater still than the sum of its parts…Maze of the Blue Medusa is in some higher tier than The Best.

-Bryce Lynch, TenFootPole


It kicks WotC's books' ass in every department, and it's made by 3 people.

-Ludifex


After 36+ years of gaming, precious little seems "new" to me.  This feels new. 

-Tim Brannan, The Other Side


If a regular old dungeon were presented with this level of clarity and efficiency, it would be excellent, but Maze of the Blue Medusa combines accessible presentation with a dungeon that's genuinely fantastic and eerie.

-James Holloway


It's gorgeous it's thought-provoking, it contains some of the most interesting and strange dungeon rooms ever published, and above all else, it is by far the most respectfully made TRPG book in years. Bottom Line: Maze of the Blue Medusa is a masterpiece and will likely be held up as the new gold standard of megadungeon book design…

-Kiel Chenier, Dungeons & Donuts


This is news to nobody even remotely interested in interesting roleplaying at this point but it's a masterpiece, rich and strange and brutal and so very sad. 

-Stasis Engine


Maze of the Blue Medusa is fun to read, it looks wonderful, and it's designed to be useful; there are plenty of game books that fit into one of those categories, fewer that fit into two, and not many at all that fit into all three, let alone doing so while describing a setting that can provide months, if not years, of continuous play. 

-Kelvin Green


 Just freaking wow. 

-They Might Be Gazebos


It’s a work of art in the truest sense, 

-Defy Danger


Huge and very well made

-David Browe


To Zak Sabbath & Patrick Stuart:  This thing, Maze of the Blue Medusa, which you have created together is stupefying. Assimilation could change your brain.  I think it changed mine.

-Ro Annis


 Let's put it this way: it's a dungeon you actually want to read the prose in. To grown adults.

-Kenneth Hite


It may be one of the most sublimely weird things I've ever read in gaming

-Blackwingedheaven


Forgive me for all the "unique"s and "different" and "rich" and all those words that I used but I'm just trying to--it's just difficult to really explain the vastness of these characters...If you can get through this thing and your players can tackle this you're going to have tons of stories

-SavageGM


Every page of it is making me go wow.

-memynameandmyself


Probably the single best RPG supplement I have ever read.

-Steve Sims


Clearly jam-packed with awesome ideas.

-Monte Cook


Nerds: This may be the best D&D book of the year.

-Ramanan S


FUCKING AMAZING

-Nathan Strong


Maze of the Blue Medusa is a damn fine book.

-pxxzaJosie


...might actually top Red & Pleasant Land!

-James Gavin


Maze of the Blue Medusa might be the most delightfully weird gaming book I've ever read.

-Jeremy Puckett


It's definitely one of the best looking books ever published for the OSR, or for RPGs in general.

-Andy Markham


This is the most dungeony dungeon. It has everything you'd expect in a big dungeon: different factions, shifting alliances, magic fountains, cursed treasures, teleportation, strange poisons, history, traps, trick doors, secret passages, rooms with no entrances, riddles, pits, everything.

-Nate Lumkin


 fucking amazing

-acep hale


It's just astonishing. Beautiful art, evocative text, great quality, nice weight in your trembling hands and just lots and lots and lots of cool encounters, areas and--just everything.

-Karl Stjernberg


Ah-May-Zing.

-China Miéville

--

Today is the last day to vote for the Ennies, nominated for:

Best Adventure
Best Cartography
Best Electronic Book (physical ones weren't ready in time for judging)
Best Writing
Product of the Year

Vote!

And if you don't have one, get one.


Tuesday, July 19, 2016

You Will Not Find Its Like Elsewhere, Sir!

Some news before the meat of the post:

Review
"
It's gorgeous, it's thought-provoking, it contains some of the most interesting and strange dungeon rooms ever published...Maze of the Blue Medusa is a masterpiece and will likely be held up as the new gold standard of megadungeon book design, both for its excellent writing and its hyperfunctional layout
"

Another review

"
"
A question from a perplexed soul that readers might help answer:
"
"

Now, on to a D&D widget:


Unusual Animals Available in the Market Today...

(in a big city, d4-1 of these will be available on any given day, in a small town, d4-3)
Roll d20

1, Lucky Chicken--This chicken is lucky. Survives danger like it has 12 hit points. 5gp.

2, Riding Goat--Trained by goblins, dyed with purple spots. Does an extra +1 damage on a gore or a bite (otherwise as wardog) but if you run into any goblins and they make a check they might get it to respond to their commands. 20gp.

3, Escape Goat--If a goat should slay a troll, it inherits the victim's regeneration abilities. This is one such individual--it regenerates at d4hp per round. 200gp.

4, Sexy Hawk--God you look good with that hawk on your shoulder. +2 charisma when attempting seduction. 60gp.

5, One-eyed Hawk--First it's a bargain second it's secretly mega-obedient, like collie obedient. (-2 Wisdom/Perception checks). 20gp.

6, Marbling horse--Or at least that's what the idiots here call it. It's actually half-zebra (thus: a zorse or zebroid)--tawny with thin black stripes. As medium warhorse, just more interesting -400gp.

7, Squealing mule--Shrieks bloody fucking murder whenever anyone comes near it with drawn steel. Probably useful if adventurers park it outside a camp or dungeon--complete pain for anyone else. Cheap-- 10gp

8, Adolescent panther--Not in any sense trained. At all. 4hd. 450gp. 475 with cage.

9, Messenger pigeon--Pretty good at its job. 10gp.

10, Truffle pig--Finds truffles! Never go hungry! Ok, kind of: truffles are low on nutritional value but make rations tastier. Assume a week's rations last 20
5 longer per truffle found. 20gp

11, Riding boar--Trained by dwarves, fur spiked with lard. . Does an extra +1 damage on a bite (otherwise as wardog) but if you run into any dwarves and they make a check they might get it to respond to their commands. 20gp.

12, Paranoid songbird--Sings pretty much only when unfamiliar creatures are nearby. Unlike the squealing mule, the intruder is unlikely to realize the bird is acting as an alarm. 10gp.

13, Canary--great for detecting poison gas. 1gp.

14, Oddspotted newt--this rare, tiny, small, fragile, brightly-colored species survives by immediately crawling into the darkest narrowest place it can find. Good for finding hidden seams in the architecture. 400gp.

15, Eastern leopard-cat--merchant selling it just thinks it's a fancy domestic cat left by sailors from Yoon-Suin. Which it is. However, it also has literally nine lives. Well, eight. It used one getting here. 10gp.

16. Frog prince--Appears to be simply a fascinating, indigo-patterned frog, medium-sized. Unbeknownst to the merchant it is frog royalty--other frogs, toads, bullywugs, blindheims, slaads and batrachians of all kinds will defer to it and pay it homage. 8gp.

17. Thrusting pheasant--Trained to peck and chase anything smaller than itself. Does no damage but irritating enough to grant advantage to anyone else attacking the same target. Allegedly bred for fairy-catching. 10gp.

18. Blue-sided viper--1 hp, save or take 2d20. Not trained or trainable. Handle with care. 300gp.

19. Amusing bunny--overweight and dalmatian-spotted, it loves to gambol, hop and romp. Anyone possessed of such a bunny will be at advantage to charisma checks of the sort where a basically decent person tries to determine if you yourself are a decent person. 5gp.


20. Literal skillmonkey--likely a variety of capuchin, it has either pick locks (1-2) or pick pockets (3-4) as a 3rd level thief focusing on those skills in whatever system, Dex 17 for these purposes. 125gp.

Monday, July 18, 2016

New I Hit It With My Axe + Kenneth Hite, Zeb Cook & a Lizard On Maze of the Blue Medusa

-So first off, here's RPG-royalty Kenneth Hite on why our "Maze of the Blue Medusa" is his "...most dangerously close and worthy competitor" .

-Second, so apparently some Ennies votes may have gotten glitched away, so check to see if you voted for Maze in Best Adventure, Product of the Year, Best E-Book (the physical copies weren't ready by judgin' time), Best Cartography and Best Writing 

-New I Hit it With My Axe is up, with historical gnotes about gnolls and Lord Dunsany (and ball-stomping).

For some reason Laney is inaccurately captioned as Stoya. That needs to get fixed.

-Fourth: if you don't have Vornheim yet, or just want a way to check out other stuff from Lamentations of the Flame Princess on the cheap, there's a Bundle of Lamentations out now offering Vornheim: The Complete City Kit with four other books as a bundle.

-Fifth: TSR legend Zeb Cook played a session in the Maze. And liked it.  
Lizards, too.


Thursday, July 14, 2016

Knight of Tittivila

Knight of Tittivila (Paladin variant)

This is for my hacked version of 5e--it's a non spell-casting paladin and is a bit less powerful overall than the 5e default--but also more straightforward and with less mechanical fiddly bits. You can make paladins of any number of gods by switching out the Tittivila-specific bits.

Knights of Tittivila--goddess of flesh and change--are found among many human and nonhuman races, including the Saurians of Nyctopolis.

Hit die: d10
Saves: Wisdom, Charisma
Skills: Pick 2--Athletics, Insight, Intimidation, Medicine, Persuasion, Religion, Animal Handling

Level 1
Detect Evil/Good # of times/day=Cha mod. 60 ft
Lay on Hands: Heal 5 pts total per day or cure disease or mundane curses by trading in 5 pts. +1 per level
Prof bonus +2

2
Mounted combat (+2 to attack from a horse or other mount)
Smite: Once/day. Add damage to a strike against any creature that is explicitly blasphemous to Tittivila or which has grievously harmed your friends. The damage is +d6 plus d6 extra per (true) friend harmed by the creature. Max d6s=Paladin level, up to a max of 10. If the paladin knowingly "games" this ability Tittivila won't grant it.
Prof bonus +2

3
Add 2 ability score points anywhere
Prof bonus +2

4
Advantage vs disease. No disease can kill you.
Advantage to hit vs creatures that are not flesh (undead, constructs etc).
Prof bonus +2
 5
Add two ability score points anywhere.
Once per day you can turn undead. Save DC: 8+prof mod+Wis mod.
Prof bonus +3

6
Extra atk per round.
Once/day as an automatic action deliver a baleful mutation to any enemy willingly touching you..
Prof bonus +3

7
Any ally within 15' gains same advantages to saves as you.
Half damage from necrotic sources.
Advantage vs paralysis or holding etc.
Prof bonus +3

8
You can call out a creature with an oath--you may only attack that creature until it is dead after doing so, but you will do an extra d10 of damage on a successful strike. If it escapes, you must pursue it alone until it is dead and may attack no other unless it explicitly bars the way. Breaking the oath makes you a fighter of -2 levels.
Prof bonus +3


9
Add two ability score points anywhere
Advantage vs fear
Prof bonus +4

10
Advantage vs Charm or mind control
Advantage vs  Divine magic
Cause save vs Fear ( DC: 8+prof mod+Wis mod.) in creatures of 5hd or less that are antithetical to Tittivila
Prof bonus +4

11
Immune to baleful transformations of your body.
Your mount is semi-intelligent and cannot be slain off-screen. It gains d4 hp each time you level up.
Prof bonus +4

12
Smite damage dice raised to d8.
Prof bonus +4




13
Immune to fear, as are any allies within 15'
Any foe touching your skin must save or take a baleful mutation  Save DC: 8+prof mod+Wis mod.
Prof bonus +5

14
Add 2 more ability score points anywhere
Prof bonus +5

15
Once/day you can end any baleful spell effect on anyone.
Prof bonus +5

16
Creatures antithetical to Tittivila are at disadvantage to hit you and cannot physically touch you (constructs, undead, demons, evil summoned beings, etc)
Prof bonus +5

17
Add 2 ability score points
Prof bonus +6

18
Aura protection (granting advantage to saves) extends to 30'
Prof bonus +6

19
Add 2 ability score points anywhere.
Prof bonus +6

20
1/day all foes within 30' must save or suffer a baleful mutation. Any foe touching the knight will suffer it with no save.
Prof bonus +6
Here you go. It's nominated in 5 categories.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Roast Sea Lynx in Cheese with Gut Peach Stuffing

(an adventure in a recipe)

One of the jewels of the traditional cuisine of Vornheim, though impossibly rare due to the exotic ingredients. Experts agree the fresher the ingredients the finer the feast--wealthy dukes have been known to pay up to 10,000gp for the timely acquisition of a single ingredient.

Requires:

1 Roast Sea Lynx
40 old spoons of Dinthic Nett sea salt
30 fists wadded gut peach
7 fists of ivory-white raisins
30 fists threating loaf crumbs
15 fists peeled, diced eijji
2 1/2 fists nephildian eel-syrup
2 1/2 fists Orping butter
2 1/2 fists ash pepper
20 fists Marmotte thincheese
8 lengths south deep pickle coil


Sea Lynx:

The most important and difficult-to-acquire constituent. The sea lynx is a parasite, living in the digestive tracts of the whales and large sharks that haunt the Sea of Ignorance and Pain, only emerging from their gullets to slay sailors as the sun rises. The discovery of a living sea lynx in edible condition is an occasion for great celebration and competition among the gourmet houses of the northern continent.


Dinthic Nett Sea Salt:

Only available from the saltpits of Ashvorkevic beneath a high crag on the coast of the realm of the Negatsar (Hex 1364). Currently administered by a one-eyed slavemaster of unknown origin.


Gut Peach:

The finest quality gut peaches are unquestionably those of Gyorsla--the cursed continent dominated Voivodja, the Red Land. Peaches grow wild on the as-yet-undevastated southern coast.


Ivory White Raisins:

Produced from the ivory-white grapes on the Isle of Vildrik (Hex 895), in the sea near the lands of the negatsar.



Threating Loaf:

A halfling bread made from a flour grown in Hackleth--the easiest place to get it is in the countryside around the halfling port city of Gleazlewratt (Hex 1289).




Eijji:

Eijji is a three-bulbed lavender fruit about the size of a man's fist. It is native to Yoon-Suin, a land past the Black Ocean and over the eastern edge of the world, to which no safe passage is known.





Nephildian Eel-Syrup:

A thick aqua-gray liquid. The eel itself is nearly translucent and native to the chilled salt-water channels of the half-drowned Kingdom of Nephilidia.


Orping Butter:

Butter made from the milk of animals descended from the noble strain of cattle once bred by Count Orping. There are rumored to be some such beasts in Bethan (Hex 1380)--a village in the Hexenbracken.


Ash pepper:

A rare variety of the common dried, ground spice. The secret of the fragile pepper plant's cultivation is jealously guarded behind the walled gardens of the jeweled princes of Drownesia.


Marmotte thincheese:

A semisoft cheese, white-veined yellow, derived from the saltgrass-eating cattle and moist caverns of the village of Marmotte in Hakleth (Hex 1792).


South deep pickle coil:


Pickle coil is a long, limp winding vegetable that grows only in the  heavy brine near the sea floor. The sea elves near Eldiston  (hex 1965) are known to harvest the exquisite South Deep variety.
-
-
-
...and now a word from our sponsor:
Go vote! Me and the girls will see you at the Ennies

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

I Hit It With My Axe is Back + Other Good News


So some of you may remember we had this webshow which documented the girls playing D&D at home. 36 episodes and then...the Greek economy collapsed and our show, being the most expensive and time-consuming on its network (and a lot of work for yours truly to edit), disappeared off the web.

Well, after many tribulations it is back. New episodes start here (with a helpful recap) this week and the old episodes are being uploaded to the same YouTube channel as we speak. Stoya guest-stars.

The first few new episodes will be kind of re-introductions to the players and how they play, a little more gameological than the originals, and then back to the plot. New ones will be coming out every week for the next few months. The more you share and tell people, the more we can do.

-


And, yeah, if you haven't already vote for Maze of the Blue Medusa for Best Adventure, Best Electronic Book, Best Cartography, Best Writing and Product of the Year. Because if the books win fabulous prizes, it's easier to make more of them. It isn't on RPGnow or anything, you can only get it here. ("It smells good, too, in case you like smelling books").

If you're still not sure you want one, there are some very thorough and brand new reviews here and here and here and here, including videos and pictures.

-

In other good news, Contessa--the gaming convention by women for everybody organized by the inevitably awesome Stacy Dellorfano has been put on the list for the Diana Jones Award. Let's all hope she wins because, really, it's what Diana would've wanted.

-
This is shaping up to be quite a fucking Gen Con. We'll see you there, possibly hanging around the LotFP table Friday and Saturday. I'll be the one who looks like this:


Monday, July 11, 2016

Go Vote--I'll See You At Gen Con!

I will be at Gen Con this year, along with some of the D&D w/ Porn Stars ladies. It's my first ever gaming convention, so be gentle.

Voting for the Ennies opens today and Maze of the Blue Medusa is up in 5 categories:
Best Adventure
Best Cartography
Best Electronic Book
Best Writing
and
Product of the Year
So vote!--put a little '1' next to it for each of these.
----
Bonus: Satine says new episodes of I Hit It With My Axe go up today--so, stay tuned.
-
-
-